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GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

In memory to a

Veterans Day this year falls on Monday, November 11th. On Veterans Day, Americans remember the sacrifices that millions of American vets have made through the almost 250 years that the United States has enjoyed freedom and independence. For many families, Veterans Day is a grim reminder of their personal loss; a father, a husband, a son (or a daughter.)

On Saturday, November 23rd, only several days before Thanksgiving, the Kohler family will observe the twenty-fifth anniversary of a very personal loss; that of a beloved family member and veteran who distinguished himself during a successful career in the U.S. Army that spanned more than two decades.

James G. Kohler (“Jim” to his friends) grew up in what is sometimes referred to hereabouts as “LA.”  Not “LA” as in Los Angeles, but rather as in Lower Albany.  He spent his first formative years just off South Pearl Street, not too far from where the future love of his life lived.  He would eventually meet Deena, but because they were in different grades, they were also in different elementary schools.  However, their paths were destined to cross.  Deena says “In sixth grade, I just looked at him and I liked him. . .He was so cute.  Dark hair and dark eyes.  He didn’t look like anybody else.  He looked different.”

“The next year I was in seventh grade and he was in eighth grade and we were changing classes. . .and he slipped me a note saying ‘I like you.  You are a sweat-heart’ (sic.)  Deena immediately noticed the spelling error and thought it was “kind of cute.”

The first time they went out together was when Jim invited Deena to a hayride sponsored by Jim’s youth group at the local Lutheran church.  It was not an auspicious beginning, however, because a girl fell off the hay wagon and broke her leg as the wagon ran over it. “It wasn’t a romantic thing because we were just kids and I didn’t even know those [other] kids.  Deena recalls that she was just twelve at the time while Jim had turned thirteen.

Jim and Deena became inseparable friends at an early age.

For a year or so afterwards, Jim and Deena saw very little of each other.  Their next date was when Jim asked Deena to go to a Boy Scout dance with him.  From that point they dated regularly until they got married the year Jim graduated from high school.  Deena saw Jim as a strong source of support when her mother died, and with other issues she faced during her teenage years.  In fact, other members of the Kohler family appreciated Jim’s presence and commitment. Deena says that her family loved Jim as their own.

Because of the war in Vietnam, young men of Jim’s age were classified by the local draft board, and in many cases, while they were still in high school.  As soon as a young man graduated, they became “1A,” which meant they were prime candidates to be drafted into the Army or Marine Corps with little or no notice in advance.  Some boys went to college in order to get a student deferment.  Others were disqualified because of some disability, or they were the sole support of their mother.  Some fled to Canada to live.  Still others joined the United States Air Force, the United States Navy or the National Guard.  When they first got married, this was perhaps the greatest problem they faced.  Nor could a young man get a decent paying job back then, because prospective employers would ask to see the applicant’s draft card, and if the card indicated that the person was “1A,” the employer would either not hire them, or else they would be hired for a menial position that paid low wages, because the employer did not want to invest in the cost of training someone who might not be around very long.

Jim begins his U.S Army service

While Deena was completing her senior year of high school, Jim was completing basic training after joining the reserves.  In the months following Deena’s graduation from high school, they decided that Jim should enlist in the active-duty armed services to benefit from the increased income and opportunity to travel.  He originally intended to enlist in the Air Force, but the Air Force recruiter was not in, so Jim agreed to join the Army.  At that time and location, the Army recruiter was looking for soldiers to serve in the 3rd U.S. Infantry Regiment (“The Old Guard.”) Despite being two inches too short, Jim was selected.  Jim’s responsibilities in the Old Guard was to serve on funeral details, often as many as two or three a day.  The funeral details at that time included a bugler, a rifle squad, and the pall bearers.  Jim was frequently required to assist in folding the U.S. flag and handing it to the grieving wife, mother or family member.  His battalion was also tasked, on occasion, with responsibilities concerning Arlington National Cemetery such as putting out flags on each of the graves and funeral duty when a president died or inaugural duty when a president was being sworn in.

“The Old Guard” has had many distinguished members pass through its ranks from WW II era Major General Harry J. Collins to First Lieutenant (and current U.S. Senator) Tom Cotton.

It was while Jim was assigned to the Old Guard that their first son Chris was born.

Jim’s service medals

These are the many ribbons and medals that Jim earned while on active duty. From bottom row, left; Army Professional Development ribbon; Army Service ribbon; Army Overseas Service ribbon. Middle row from left; Army Achievement ribbon; Army Good Conduct ribbon; National Defense Service ribbon. Top row left; Meritorious Service ribbon; Army Commendation ribbon.

Jim also had several other honors such as his Army Meritorious Unit Citation, his Army Infantry Badge

Army MUC ribbon

Army Enlisted Infantry Badge

U.S. Army Drill Sergeant Badge

Army Air Assault badge

Army Expert Qualification badge (M-16)

End of block

Assignment: Oahu, Hawaii (Schofield Barracks & Fort Shafter)

Jim actually had two separate tours in Hawaii. Both were on the island of Oahu. It was during the first tour that Jim and Deena’s second son (Nicholas) was born.

“When we first went to Hawaii, in late 1978, I was about to give birth to Nick.  We had an assignment to Schofield Barracks which was right at the base of the Kolekole Pass.  That’s where we lived for three years.”  During that time, when Jim wasn’t on drills in Kahaku, he was on temporary duty in other countries, such as Australia, New Zealand and South Korea.  When his tour at Schofield Barracks ended, Jim, Deena and the boys were sent to Ft. Leonard-Wood, MO, where Jim completed his Associates Degree.  After nine months, they were assigned once again to Hawaii.  “This time, it was an office job, underground at Fort Shafter where the famous Palm Circle is located.  His shift was twelve hours on/twelve hours off, for four days on, and three days off.”

“In our off time on both assignments, we went to the beach.  That was the most inexpensive fun we could do on the island.  The beach was free, and the boys loved digging in the sand, building sand castles and learning how to swim [with] a little bit of surfing.  That’s where we spent most of our time.”

“After the second tour in Hawaii, they spent three years in the Northwest at Ft Lewis.  That was right after Mount Saint Helen erupted.  We spend three years there.  We actually thought we would retire and stay there, but we had one more assignment to do.  We traveled as much as we could in the Northwest and then we headed out to Germany.”

Jim was posted to the Rose Barracks near what was the border of the former Czechoslovakia (the Czech Republic today.)

“The Wall had just come down in November 1989, and we moved there in December 1989.  We stayed there until June of 1995.”  At that point, Jim retired from the Army. 

Africa

Club Beyond was and is a Christian organization similar to Young Life and Youth For Christ. It was designed to minister to the children of American service members. The importance of a group like this was of particular value overseas where dependent children found themselves in a strange land with unfamiliar customs while they had little or no grasp of the local language. Jim and Deena got off to a running start with Club Beyond, and they were active with both Protestant and Catholic youth. Deena put her organizational, hospitality and fund-raising skills to work, while Jim enjoyed talking to the kids and getting involved in outdoor activities and projects. They went on trips to not only Western European destinations, but also to Romania and Kenya where the American youth were able to become involved with service projects, making friends with other young people their age as well as adults in those cultures in the process. A number of lives among the young adults who went with Jim and Deena on their excursions were permanently changed for the better as they chose professional careers in service to others, thanks to their exposure to the “Real World” courtesy of Club Beyond and the Kohlers.

Members of the Maasai tribe bring their wares to the site location to meet members of Jim and Deena’s youth group.
American youth from Jim’s base in Germany build a house in support of future volunteers who will continue to improve the local infrastructure.

Jim actually went on two different trips to Africa. Students had to provide much of the money required for the trip, so that involved fundraising activities in advance of departure. While in a country such as Kenya, the youth either build structures or dug wells for the local population. Often the Army would release a doctor to take time off from work and travel with the youths. While in the country, he would assist the locals in modest ways with their health care needs. In addition to Club Beyond, Deena did double duty as an officer with the Protestant Women of the Chapel (PWOC) while in Germany.

What’s up? Danger!

There were all sorts of danger in the trips to Africa. Flies, mosquitos and ticks carried lethal tropical diseases, while adders, mambas, cobras, vipers and other snakes could strike at any moment. Almost anything could turn up when you least expected it.

Night times were potentially even more deadly. There were no electric lights. Just before dawn and just after dusk you might see a leopard watching you intently from the top of a nearby tree, ready to drop and pounce if you came too close. Leopards are just one of the traditional Big Five dangers in Kenya, along with elephants, rhino, buffalo and lions. Today, there are thieves and terrorists aplenty, and the roads are dangerous, too, sometimes pocked with huge potholes that can wreck a jeep.

But thanks be to God, there were no casualties and all of the young people had what for many was the most exciting and rewarding time of their young lives.

Chris

Chris, Jim’s oldest son looks back at his time with his dad and those times together that he remembers most fondly were outdoor activities, such as “rock climbing, learning how to rapel, camping and learning how to fish.” These are the sorts of activities that Chris is introducing his sons to as well.

From left: Chris, Kai and Kili. enjoy a few precious moments together outdoors.

Chris recalls his activities with his dad as being opportunities to develop self-confidence. Jim would develop opportunities to teach new skills to Chris. At that, point, Jim would stand back and let Chris apply those skills. Chris explained using examples of when they went to the beach at Hawaii together. “Like with snorkeling,” Chris said. If was as if his dad was saying “You know how to do it, now go snorkel on your own.” When Chris is out with his boys, and there is something potentially hazardous, “My first inclination is ‘Oooh, that’s dangerous!’ But ‘I need to not baby the kids…they need to learn how to do stuff on their own.'” This is the sort of “confidence and encouragement” that Chris believes he received from Jim.

From left Kai, Chris and Killi (at Bellows Beach in Oahu, HI.) This is one of Chris’ favorite places. He can recall being on that same beach when he was his children’s age. Bellows Beach is part of a military reservation and it is one of the more isolated beaches on the island.

Jim’s younger son Nick has fond memories as well

“I think the biggest impact he had on me was to not let the lack of knowing or understanding something keep me from feeling like I could not achieve it. I do remember him looking things up, and learning from others things he didn’t know. I think I’m willing to attempt things others might not be willing to do because he modeled that for me.”  Deena relates how Jim would spend time at a post’s auto hobby shop whenever the family car needed repairs.  Because repairs then, as now, were so expensive, Jim would have to make the needed repairs himself, pouring over auto repair manuals and asking others for advice in the process.

Jim reveals the pièce de ré·sis·tance for Thanksgiving. From left: Nick, Jiim and Chris.

Nick is also grateful to his dad for inspiring and instructing Nick how to cook.  “I remember my dad being the dad who cooked really good breakfast.”  Nick said that his dad modeled that “Men can be in the kitchen, too.”  To this day, Nick cooks at home and his children are sharing the same enthusiasm about cooking as he and his dad did.  “He modeled that to me and I’m modeling that to my kids.”

It’s had for Nick to choose his favorite assignment.  He remembers Hawaii well, and enjoyed his time there.  He also enjoyed Washington state and the family outings as well as his time growing up in Germany.  Speaking to his mom he says “You guys just made it fun and fun to explore.”

What is interesting is that while Chris and Nick have taken different paths in life and live in two different parts of the country, both sons enjoy cooking and both enjoying working with their hands even as their dad did.

Homeward bound

Jim enjoying retirement time in Maine.

Jim retired from active duty in 1992. By the time his tour with Club Beyond was over, it was 1995.  Jim and Deena owned a home in Washington State with the expectation that eventually they would return to the northwest.  However, after several deaths in her family who remained in Albany, NY, Deena asked Jim for the first time “’Could we go home to New York,’ and he said ‘Sure?!’”

Deena wanted to “come home and get reacquainted with the family.”  Jim wanted to start a second career with the U.S. Post Office and before long he was accepted.  He worked on his bachelor’s degree at Empire State University in his free time. Also, around that time, they purchased a home in Delmar, where Deena’s sister and youngest son currently reside.  They enjoyed every day, making several trips to Maine and elsewhere in New England.  Deena’s eyesight back them, which was never good, was becoming progressively worse, and their retirement was hardly a life of leisure. After Jim’s sudden death, Deena’s visual problems were correctly diagnosed. But the restoration of her sight was a bittersweet experience.

Jim’s duty assignments

PostingYears
Washington, D.C.1972-1976
Fort Jackson, SC1976-1978
Schofield Barracks, HI1978-1981
Fort Leonard-Wood, MO1981-1982
Fort Shafter, HI1982-1985
Fort Lewis, WA1985-1989
Rose Barracks, Vilseck, Germany1989-1994

Pictures that are worth a thousand words

Jim and his sons. from left: Nick Kohler, Jim Kohler and Chris Kohler.
Jim’s younger son, Nick.

Nick and Kelly’s family, plus Chris and Beth’s boys (cousins) Kai and Kilian with Deena in a recent photo.

This is the last photo taken of Jim. He and Deena enjoy the changing seasons in their beloved Catskills.
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