People today behave differently about things than people in the past. In fact, many words that were familiar only a century ago are a mystery to people today. Back in the days of the Great Depression, and the years before and after, mothers used to “darn” socks and sweaters. That meant closing holes in the sock or sweater with a needle and threat. I remember iron-on patches for the knees of boys’ jeans because the child would wear out the fabric playing. Tires on a bicycle or car would be similarly patched as well. If the handle of a knife broke, it would be replaced by a piece of bone, frequently carved out of the antler of a deer.
Not so today. Try looking for a shoemaker to repair or replace the soles and heels of your shoes. Or a scissor grinder to sharpen your scissors. Or someone who can replace the binder of a book. Who today would bother to glue together a fifty-dollar vase that broken into five or more pieces? What if you found a bargain on an expensive (i.e., expensive “back in the day”) table? It looked brand new and all it needed was a carved, ornate leg to match the other three. How would you even begin to go about restoring it?
The Oxford Dictionary defines the word “broken” as having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order.” Like a broken arm. I remember fifteen years ago breaking my humerus. I couldn’t get it to move no matter how hard I tried. It was fractured.
Toys were often broken. Dolls were essentially rag dolls before plastic went mainstream after the Second World War. The dolls would invariably tear. The stuffing inside would come out. Button or fabric eyes would fall off. Yet, to a small girl with little else to play with and with even less company to keep, a broken Raggedy Ann with a missing arm or leg was precious. It helped her cope with stressful times.
Today, we toss broken things out without a second thought. During the pandemic of 2020-2023, people would order things from Amazon™ and if they did not fit right or the customer received the wrong item or changed their mine, they were told not to try to return the item. Just throw it away and they would receive a chargeback to their credit card. The opportunity cost[1] was just too high.
Eventually and invariably, broken or worn-out items today wind up in the trash, at flea markets or antique stores. They no longer carry any value. They are just junk. Not worth salvaging.
But let’s move on.
The same Oxford Dictionary has a definition of broken as it applies to a person. Here, it speaks of “having given up all hope.” A broken heart. A broken life.
Broken lives
How do you deal with a “broken” co-worker or an acquaintance who have given up all hope? if you are like most people, you don’t. You think you don’t have the skills or time, or that it would be too draining on you. It’s none of your business anyway, right?
I’ve worked with broken people in my lifetime. One was a beautiful, compassionate woman with impeccable poise, manners, amazing abilities and an exemplary work ethic. She was very outgoing and engaged with her colleagues. She was a natural leader and people would take note when she entered a room. A few years later she overdosed on pain medicine and died. Her death was shocking to those who knew her.
Another person I knew was in her fifties when her parent died. She started drinking to deal over the loss. We all knew something was wrong because she missed more and more days of work. She was eventually discharged from service a short time before she died as well.
I recall a person who could not set ego boundaries. The problems of the people around him became his problems, as well.
I’ve sat in cars in the dark with people going through divorce, been approached unexpectedly by someone after Sunday School class who was trying to cope with sexual assault. Another person I knew said she heard voices whenever she stuck her hear in the clothes dryer. You get the drift.
And I’ve been broken in life myself.
All of this becomes more pressing when our friends and family members become broken. A teenager develops anorexia, while her brother does drugs. Maybe it’s a couple you’ve known and spent time with for many, many years and now they are dissolving their marriage. What do you do besides recommend professional counseling?
But . . .
God sees value in people who are broken. David writes in Psalms 51:17 “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” The word here for “broken” is נִשְׁבָּ֫רָ֥ה. W.E. Vine says the word means “to break, shatter, smash, crush.”[2] The word translated as “contrite” in this verse (וְנִדְכֶּ֑ה) means literally “crushed to pieces” and it is a compliment to the former adverb. What King David is saying is that God would rather you forfeit your pride and surrender your arrogance rather than make a generous financial contribution to your church. The imagery in this verse in Psalms is of someone who is convicted in his or her heart of some terrible deed that they have done.
I read recently about a teenager who was convicted of two counts of murder. The victims were riding in a car she was driving as she wrecked at a speed of 100 mph just before dawn. According to news reports, all three individuals had been smoking pot before the wreck. She was just seventeen when this took place. Now, she’ll spend the next fifteen years in prison. Even without knowing anything about her, after watching her on video as she heard the sentence, I would say she was definitely broken. She probably feels that her life is ruined. Who would hire her after she eventually gets out? Who would marry her? She’ll feel like she has the “mark of Cain” on her forehead for the rest of her life. She’ll be pushing forty before she is free, but after spending a decade and a half (minimum) in a prison, she may feel much older than forty. In just several brief seconds, her life was in some sense ruined. But before I identify too closely and sympathetically with her, I need to remind myself that two other teens died because of her actions. The loss of their sons may very well break the spirit and the union of the parents of the victims as well. Consequences good or bad fan out like ripples and touch other lives.
The families of the victims may have trouble forgiving her for her reckless action which took their sons away from them. But the Bible tells me that God has not given up on her and is willing to respond if she reaches out to Him. It is my prayer that she does and it should be yours as well.
So, why does God let us run out of rope, ground into the dirt before He intervenes? I think the answer may be that as long as we believe that we can somehow mitigate or manipulate our circumstances and spin events to our benefit, there is little that God can or will do to help. His willingness to help must be on His terms. A last resort, though ideally He should not be our last resort, but our first. Again, from Psalms (46:1) “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
There is another verse that pairs nicely with the one from Psalms. This one comes from II Corinthians 12:9-10 where Paul quotes God as saying:
“’My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
Paul then continues:
“Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Notice that God is referring to what statisticians describe as an inverse relationship. As we get weaker, God influence in our life gets stronger. It’s like that refrigerator magnet or bumper sticker people used to have that said “Let go and let Him.”
Don’t be fooled, though. It’s not easy for a person who has been broken to walk the straight and narrow. Alcoholics, for example. You can sometimes spot a recovering alcoholic because they occasionally mouth their mouth with a fist when need drink. This is a “tell,” sort of like an infant smacking his or her lips when they are hungry.
It’s easy to fall off the wagon. Holidays, times of stress, being with people who drink alcohol themselves can lead you astray or talk you into “just one drink for old time’s sake.”
There are things that you can do, too. Being a friend, listening to a broken person, perhaps someone who feels abandoned or is grieving the loss of a spouse. You don’t need any special training to listen. A squeeze of the hand or a hug–like a picture–can be worth a thousand words.
[1] The term “opportunity cost” is often used in painting. If your house needs painting, a painter may bid $12,000 to paint your house. You might think that is too expensive and decide to paint it yourself. But paint, brushes and solvents, ladders and drop cloths added to the time you forfeit making money might mean that this DIY project costs you a total of $15,000. It would have been cheaper for you to hire a painter. A painter is cheaper because he or she already has the tools and techniques which save money.
[2] Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W., Jr. (1996). In Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words (Vol. 1, p. 24). T. Nelson.
