A Christmas message. One of the albums I like to play during the Christmas season is a DVD by Sarah Brightman¹ called One Night in Eden. It is not a Christmas album per se, but it has songs on it that complement the Holidays. She covers many of the songs on the album with a personal arrangement. One such song that was originally recorded by the Bee Gees is called “The First of May.”

The refrain in the song has the words:

“When I was small
And Christmas trees were tall
We used to laugh while others used to play
Don’t ask me why
But time has passed us by
Someone else moved in from far away

Now we are tall
And Christmas trees are small
And you don’t ask the time of day
But you and I
Our love will never die
To kiss and cry, ‘Come, first of May’”

The consensus of people commenting on this song is that the lyrics represent a loss of innocence, and a sense of disappointment, disillusionment and loneliness in life as the singer ages. At first, and as far as children are concerned, the world—including Christmas trees—are somehow larger than life. But as children grow, they see things differently, in real life perspective. I actually experienced this effect several years ago when Deena took me to the area of upstate New York that I lived in as a child. Distances from place-to-place where I lived were much shorter than I remembered them to be. Mountains as I remembered them then were mere hills now and hills then were barely discernible. It was almost disorienting for me to realize that more than half of a century later.

Farewell to childhood

I recently read a thread on a social media forum that asked women what eye-opening experience revealed to them that the world was a different place than they imagined it as a child. Hundreds of women responded from around the world. The answers were interesting but sadly predictable. Women, according to their comments, were disappointed when they learned that

very few girls ever enjoy a Barbie lifestyle.
adults have no plan. They are figuring out the world as they go along and are frequently clueless, themselves.
supportive parents and grandparents who constantly praised and encouraged you as a child will be sorely missed when they die, and there will likely be no one to take their place when you need someone to put a problem into perspective, or to encourage you and remind you of your strengths and abilities.
many people who appear normal are actually unhappy or unloved. Or alcoholics.
few people are absolutely good or positively evil. Most people are somewhere in between the two polar adjectives.
your parent’s advice (going to college, working hard, marrying the right person and living a thrifty life) does not always guarantee success in life.
equality with men does not exist. As a woman, you’ll likely work harder, earn less and not be recognized or rewarded for your efforts.
careless actions and bad decisions have consequences.
friends in life will betray your trust and take advantage of you.
when you find your true love, he may not love you in return.

And then, there is pain young children already face growing up in their homes, such as dealing with cruel, older siblings who torment them while fooling their parent into thinking they, themselves, are the perfect child. There are mean-spirited parents who quarrel. Many children do not have friends, adequate clothing and other basic needs. Or, children are overwhelmed with adult responsibilities at too early of an age, and so on. Their Christmas trees are not nearly as tall as those of other children their age.

When no news is good news

So, as we grow and discover more and more about the world, our friends, our families, we sometimes wish we did not know as much as we do. The Bible says that “he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” (Ecc 1:18.) We see things we wish we did not see. We hear secrets that break our hearts.

A once dependable resource for people struggling and in crisis used to be the Church. The Catholic Church. The Protestant Church. The Orthodox Church. But now, there are valid reasons which keep people away from churches. I once read a letter to the editor that asked why Christians are so angry. At first, I dismissed this comment, but then I couldn’t let it go. I realized that I was angry myself. Angry over my late wife’s failing health. Angry over politics, over people that didn’t see things my way, at the hand I had been dealt in life. Believe it or not, this anger eventually resolved itself in the blink of an eye. But I had carried that anger for many years and it kept me from being a better person. Jesus prophesized about this in the Gospel where he said:

“There will be such an increase of the sin of lawlessness that those whose hearts once burned with passion for God and others will grow cold. But hold your hope firmly to the end and you will experience life and deliverance.” (Matthew 24:12-13.)

Growing cold as the warmth and very life seep out of you. When you grow cold, physically or emotionally, you lose feeling to the affected limb. You make yourself numb, like a log or a rock. As Emily Dickinson famously wrote:

“After great pain, a formal feeling comes –

The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –

The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’

And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?

The Feet, mechanical, go round –

A Wooden way

Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –

Regardless grown,

A Quartz contentment, like a stone –

This is the Hour of Lead –

Remembered, if outlived,

As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –

First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –“

Many of us have had such a great pain. Perhaps with yet another argument between you and your spouse. Your stomach is tied in knots and your head throbs. Then the formal feeling comes, where the couple no longer speak to each affectionately, in terms of endearment, but merely in a curt, perfunctory manner. Perhaps the only communication between them is in short notes or texts. Your emotions, your joy of life and love evaporates as you withdraw into yourself. As a freezing person remembers the snow, you imagine a cold, blistery day, you desire only the stupor of sleep and then you finally let go. Your relationship is over and a new reality awaits you.

Hope for Christmas

The Christmas message is one of hope. Even if everyone around you has given up on you or ceases to care what happens to you, your Creator cares about you. He has a home prepared for you where you’ll find your heart’s desire. The Christian message is one of finding your life after losing your way, of warming cold hearts, of victory over defeat. Of life over death.

There is a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you if you are searching. All you need to do is to take the first step.